Kiss me through the phone

In my experience, phone sex can be the perfect little weapon to add some naughty spice to any relationship, especially for all you distant lovers out there. So picture this, you’re honey calls you up on the phone and says, “What you got on?”. His voice gets deep and throaty and you know just what he wants. The problem is – you feel awkward and embarrassed about it because you “um, don’t know what to say.” Well, you’re totally not alone. Not all women are blessed with the confidence to get all Girl 6 at the drop of a hat.

Here are some simple steps you can take to loosen up and unleash our inner phone sex Diva:

Make yourself comfortable.

Do all the things you would do to create a perfect romantic evening at home. Dim the lights, enjoy a steamy shower or bubble bath, slip on something sexy, sip some wine or champagne and RELAX.

So now you’re feeling sexy, and you’re ready to make the call…

How do you get started? What do you say?

Let your mind reminisce on past salacious sexual experiences and imagine what could be if you two were together again – not now, but right now. Phone sex is all about the details. But it’s not only what you say, it’s how you say it. You’ll want to lower your register as no one wants to have phone sex with Minnie Mouse. Take the time to speak slowly, clearly and with a certain breathiness. And don’t be a dud about it. Be enthusiastic.

Entice him by tailoring the conversation to him.

Make him feel special and unique by playing up a certain part of his body that makes you feel all lusty inside. Whether its his arms, lips, chest or another unmentionable place.

Get graphic with him.

Paint a picture of the romantic evening you’ve been having alone. Tell him what you’re wearing, like one of his sexy dress shirts and some “fuck me” pumps. Tell him how naughty you are feeling, and how much you wish he were lying next to you right now. This is a no holds barred conversation. Arouse him more by telling him about all the dirty little things you would do to him and coax him by encouraging him to reveal all the juicy details of what he’s dying to do to you.

What happens if we get off course and back into awkward land?

If you find yourself feeling a bit strange about any of his possibly off beat request, don’t sweat it. Don’t laugh. But rather chuckle softly like you knew it all along. If you’ve found the conversation has gone astray – say mentioning spanking him when you know he’s not into that sort of thing and now he’s weirded out — it’s easy to bounce back by simply going back to a place you where before when he was into it or mentioning another fantasy you know he’s up for.

Step up the seduction

Ask detailed questions like, do you want to suck my breast? Kiss my pretty toes? Get tied up? Share whatever is on your mind. Create a methodically sexy scenario in which you two can both play your respective roles and reveal your inner fantasies. Have him give you instructions about where and how he wants your hands to wander over your body. Make sure to ask how he’s stimulating himself as well.

Wanna take it even further?

Take it all to the video phone or web cam.

By the time you hang up you both will be hot, bothered and feening for the other. But you will also be able to better satisfy your partner as you have allowed the other into your fantasies and shared what really gets your engines revved up.

Misstress Kaine: The Lenny Kravitz Approach

Summer is great for loving. There’s nothing better than comfortable weather, cookouts and cuties. It’s hard to resist taking one home, but those who indulge often find themselves sucked into a world of casual dates, and meaningless sex with strangers. Before you know it, one can quickly find the extra slack that once existed in their proverbial belt has shrunken with each notch to where it now fits like a corset.
So many contradictory views on sex are forced down our throats. Conventional thought either wants to force abstinence down our throats or force ideas on sexual freedom. Both can leave a bad taste in your mouth. There is an alternative. A very “do what makes you happy so long as you are not hurting others, ahem, unless they’re into that sorta thing approach. Ever given celibacy a thought?
Don’t make that face.

Popular beliefs about celibacy and the people who practice it tend to get a bad rap. People who practice celibacy are labeled as prudes who are sexually traumatized. I mean, who hasn’t had thoughts of crazy cat ladies dance around their brains when the word is mentioned. Regardless, the idea of celibacy should be given some serious exploration. There are many solid reasons to choose it as a way of life: lack of suitable partner, resisting or growing tired of casual sex, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and religious or spiritual pursuits.
As amazing as sex can be, it can also add a lot of unnecessary mishaps in relationships and life. Many women feel the need to use sex to hook a man, and all too commonly, relinquish their power in the process. We don’t need bald-headed, middle-aged men to tell us that holding out can lead to prince charming, when the fantasy of Prince charming is delusional. The same goes for the men who decide that a woman needs to prove herself worthy of the good D.
The notion that celibacy is unhealthy and unnatural is a popular one. It’s neither a prescription for loneliness, nor is it a diet of self-deprivation. The truth is choosing to or not to have sex is a very individual thing and celibacy does not have to amount to loneliness. “Lover Lite” and “Platonic Plus” relationships exist in which people happily go on dates, have emotional relationships but don’t have sex, married couples included. The ability to rationalize and make decisions is what separates humans from other animals. So deliberate fasts from sex are lessons in discipline, a tough skill to master. Being involved with another person sexually holds an intense exchange of energy. It’s ok to give the private bits a break. Airing out is not only for your vagina, but for your entire body, mind and soul. It can do a world of good for you in more ways than one. You can use all the energy you have been giving to another and redirect it in inwardly. Take time out to focus your energy on you, and reflect, relax and refocus. Listen to and learn from yourself to determine what you want from life, future relationships and create a plan of attack to get you where you want to be. One in which you are free to explore yourself freely in all the ways you may never have.
After you’ve done the inner happiness thing, try the outer happiness thing – as in masturbation. Self pleasure is one of the most powerful gifts you can give to yourself. Knowing your body thoroughly and be able to please yourself means that you can accurately express your needs and desires to your partner should you resume sexual activity.

Safely Yours,

Lady K. (Mistress Kaine)