Misstress Kaine: The Lenny Kravitz Approach

Summer is great for loving. There’s nothing better than comfortable weather, cookouts and cuties. It’s hard to resist taking one home, but those who indulge often find themselves sucked into a world of casual dates, and meaningless sex with strangers. Before you know it, one can quickly find the extra slack that once existed in their proverbial belt has shrunken with each notch to where it now fits like a corset.
So many contradictory views on sex are forced down our throats. Conventional thought either wants to force abstinence down our throats or force ideas on sexual freedom. Both can leave a bad taste in your mouth. There is an alternative. A very “do what makes you happy so long as you are not hurting others, ahem, unless they’re into that sorta thing approach. Ever given celibacy a thought?
Don’t make that face.

Popular beliefs about celibacy and the people who practice it tend to get a bad rap. People who practice celibacy are labeled as prudes who are sexually traumatized. I mean, who hasn’t had thoughts of crazy cat ladies dance around their brains when the word is mentioned. Regardless, the idea of celibacy should be given some serious exploration. There are many solid reasons to choose it as a way of life: lack of suitable partner, resisting or growing tired of casual sex, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and religious or spiritual pursuits.
As amazing as sex can be, it can also add a lot of unnecessary mishaps in relationships and life. Many women feel the need to use sex to hook a man, and all too commonly, relinquish their power in the process. We don’t need bald-headed, middle-aged men to tell us that holding out can lead to prince charming, when the fantasy of Prince charming is delusional. The same goes for the men who decide that a woman needs to prove herself worthy of the good D.
The notion that celibacy is unhealthy and unnatural is a popular one. It’s neither a prescription for loneliness, nor is it a diet of self-deprivation. The truth is choosing to or not to have sex is a very individual thing and celibacy does not have to amount to loneliness. “Lover Lite” and “Platonic Plus” relationships exist in which people happily go on dates, have emotional relationships but don’t have sex, married couples included. The ability to rationalize and make decisions is what separates humans from other animals. So deliberate fasts from sex are lessons in discipline, a tough skill to master. Being involved with another person sexually holds an intense exchange of energy. It’s ok to give the private bits a break. Airing out is not only for your vagina, but for your entire body, mind and soul. It can do a world of good for you in more ways than one. You can use all the energy you have been giving to another and redirect it in inwardly. Take time out to focus your energy on you, and reflect, relax and refocus. Listen to and learn from yourself to determine what you want from life, future relationships and create a plan of attack to get you where you want to be. One in which you are free to explore yourself freely in all the ways you may never have.
After you’ve done the inner happiness thing, try the outer happiness thing – as in masturbation. Self pleasure is one of the most powerful gifts you can give to yourself. Knowing your body thoroughly and be able to please yourself means that you can accurately express your needs and desires to your partner should you resume sexual activity.

Safely Yours,

Lady K. (Mistress Kaine)

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